If readers recognized that he was an ass, unaware of his own stupidity, ''your work will be a triumph. |
"Varanasi" is older than history, older than tradition, older even than legend, and looks twice as old as all of them put together |
'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of the world it would still sing to me. |
(Twain on Cain): it was his misfortune to live in a dark age that knew not the beneficent Insanity Plea |
. . . a man must not hold himself aloof from the things which his friends and his community have at heart if he would be liked . . . |
...It is hard to overestimate how far a man can go in America if he looks good on a horse. |
A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother |
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain |
A big leather-bound volume makes an ideal razor strap. A thin book is useful to stick under a table with a broken caster to steady it. A large, flat atlas can be used to cover a window with a broken pane. And a thick, old-fashioned heavy book with a clasp is the finest thing in the world to throw at a noisy cat. |
A cat is more intelligent than people believe, and can be taught any crime |
A classic is a book which people praise and don't read. |
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. |
A coin, sleeve button, or a collar button dropped in a bedroom will hide itself and be hard to find. A handkerchief in bed 'can't' be found. |
A conspiracy is nothing but a secret agreement of a number of men for the pursuance of policies which they dare not admit in public |
A crank is someone with a new idea -- until it catches on. |