17 ordspråk av Tim Vine
Tim Vine
 And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said 'Do you earn a living doing that?' He said 'Yes, this is my livelihood.' |
| Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin. |
| But I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself. |
| I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah, I thought "he's trying to pull a fast one'. |
| I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy. |
| I was reading a book... 'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down. |
| Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds. |
| Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet. |
| So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.' |
| So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.' |
| So I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said "How flexible are you?". I said "I can't make Tuesdays". |
| So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.' |
| So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions". |
| So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red. |
| You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' So that was nice. |
Number of proverbs are 1469511
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This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.
Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!
Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
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varav 1407627 på engelska
Proverb (1469511 st) Search
Categories (2627 st) Search
Authors (167535 st) Search
Photos (4592 st)
Born (10495 st)
Died (3317 st)
Dates (9517 st)
Countries (5315 st)
Idiom (4438 st)
Lengths
Toplists (6 st)
Greetings
Write a greeting
This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.
Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!
Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!
 |
This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.
Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!
Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!