46 ordspråk av Emo Philips
Emo Philips
 A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. |
| At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote. |
| Do you know why they call it 'PMS'? Because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken. |
| How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. |
| I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!' |
| I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there's never any gum under any of them. |
| I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, "If you'll remember, I fastened my return with a paper clip, which according to your very own latest government pentagon spending figures will more than make up for the difference." |
| I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." |
| I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. |
| I have a lot more things to talk about now because I'm an adult. |
| I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming... They don't know I'm only using blanks. |
| I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks. |
| I once had a large gay following, but I ducked into an alleyway and lost him. |
| I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper. |
| I ran three miles today. Finally I said, "Lady take your purse." |
Number of proverbs are 1469511
varav 1407627 på engelska
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This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.
Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!
Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!
varav 1407627 på engelska
Proverb (1469511 st) Search
Categories (2627 st) Search
Authors (167535 st) Search
Photos (4592 st)
Born (10495 st)
Died (3317 st)
Dates (9517 st)
Countries (5315 st)
Idiom (4438 st)
Lengths
Toplists (6 st)
Greetings
Write a greeting
This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.
Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!
Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!
 |
This website focuses on proverbs in the Swedish, Danish and Norwegian languages, and some parts including the links below have not been translated to English. They are mainly FAQs, various information and webpages for improving the collection.
Här har vi samlat citat sedan 1990!
Vad är proverb?
Hur funkar det?
Vanliga frågor
Om samlingen
Ordspråkshjältar
Hjälp till!